A man just figured out that imaginary friends are actually a person’s guardian angel that people can only see in the child stages of life. Problem is that his child has two imaginary friends, one named after an ancient demon and another which she says she named Mr. Sparklie. She starts calling them her other dads as well. Write about how the guardian demon and guardian angel care for the child when the real father isn’t around.
Agrat bat Mahlat: Look. Your parents aren’t watching, right? Who’s to say they’ll ever know?
Mr. Sparklie: They’ll CERTAINLY KNOW when they come back and find their wallets on fire!!
Mr. Sparklie: My dear child, how would you like to learn a hymn in praise of the Lord?
Agrat bat Mahlat: While we’re at it, Lord Satan has this cool song about the Antichrist…
Mr. Sparklie: NO!!!
Mr. Sparklie: Now, I know he took the toy that you wanted to play with, but a proper response is to turn the other cheek.
Agrat bat Mahlat: Yeah, that way you have plausible deniability when you RiP hIs eYeS oUt
Mr. Sparklie: Agrat, no!
Agrat bat Mahlat: Man, you never let me do anything…
Mr. Sparklie: …oh, dear.
Agrat bat Mahlat: Oh, shit.
Mr. Sparklie: Language!
Agrat bat Mahlat: [sighs] fine. Oh, shirt.
Mr. Sparklie: This man really… does not have good intentions, does he? Toward our charge, no less…
Agrat bat Mahlat: I swear to Satan, if he takes one step closer I’m going to reach down his throat and rip out his kidneys.
Mr. Sparklie: I wouldn’t stop you.
Agrat bat Mahlat: I’ll– wait, what?
Mr. Sparklie: I never said anything. I never heard anything. I”m simply going to turn the other way, and… fail to see anything you do. Ooh, a bird!
You’re a father that goes out to the gas station/grocery store to get some milk, and you fully intend to return home. You’re then put into a ridiculous situation that your family will never believe is the reason you were gone for decades.
I’ve been thinking about making this post for a while, so let’s get this started. An incomplete list of the (many) ways I identify antis. A brief note before we begin: Many of the traits on their own are totally harmless, but more than three or so marks a pattern. Most of the time, they self identify, which is helpful, but anti ideology is rampant these days. You can never be too careful.
A secondary note, I advocate for blocking antis, but if any of them change their mind, if they leave the ideology behind, I am all for welcoming them with open arms. We all make mistakes, and we’re only human.
On the flip side of this–because I do agree with the vast majority of this list–I have run across AINOs (anti in name only), who have at least worked out that fiction is not reality, don’t support the truly godawful shit some engage in and in many cases realize that it’s not losing friends over fictional ships. It’s entirely probable they’ve never heard of the concept of NoTP or got brought into fandom by an anti friend that sold them a bill of goods about being against incest or whatever.
If nothing else, perhaps the comm format of PF and DW will open a few eyes and give those folks the opportunity to make that determination for themselves.
I mean. There’s also the fact that “anti-[ship x]” used to be a term for anyone who considered ship x their nOTP. Like the term has shifted to the extreme definition we know now, but there’s definitely some people who were in fandom six years ago who are confused that people get upset when they say they’re “anti-” something. They’re pretty rare, but it’s understandable.
NineofShades 