I finally watched the Trolls movie, and my strongest reaction is that
the sellout zen troll was a complete idiot. He has no guarantee that the Bergens wouldn’t just eat him anyway after he sold out the rest of the trolls. The obvious thing to do, instead of actually going all the way and betraying everyone, would have been to lead the Bergen chef deep into the woods somewhere at night and then just make a break for it. Hide under some rocks or something. Have you ever tried looking for a two-inch tall thing in the woods in the dark? It’s impossible. And it took him so much additional effort not to take that easy out!
the wildest thing happened to me the other day i found out a male coworker is into irish music so i told him that my dad is an irish musician and would he like to come to a session and he straight up irl said to me “name 5 irish songs your dad knows”
he asked me if i play and i told him i played the fiddle when i was a teenager but havent played in years and he was like “oh cool. i play drums” as in a drum kit you know the famously folkish instrument the drum kit. bitch my name is molly o’reilly you really wanna challenge the legitimacy of my irish music involvement
Me : wow!! I’m so excited to play dnd!!! man I’m so hype to roleplay my super cool character and form relationships!!! wow!!!!
Dm : what’s your characters name?
Me :
Alternately
Dm: and this npc stands before you, greeting you with a badass handshake in one hand and a halberd in the other. They’re hip, they’re hype, they’re everything you ever wanted.
Me: amazing what’s their name
Dm: oh no
Solution: set your campaign in a land where true names have extraordinary power, and there are fey lurking in the shadows waiting for someone to let one slip.
No one ever tells anyone their name; it’s why people have so many epithets – the grizzled warrior, the battle mage, the meatball, the hey-you-with-the-face-at-least-most-of-one-haha-don’t-point-that-thing-at-me.
i hate reading this post for the sole reason that it made me realize against my will that kermit and miss piggy are literally mr. and mrs. bennet personified and this crossover would probably work
i am disturbed by how well this works
alright now i’m just pissed off because that fits even better
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.
Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
– Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.”
Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire
In case anyone needed a dramatic reading of the above historical letter.
NineofShades 