I figured out a simple guide to the alignment chart last night
Lawful:Â Rules matter more to me than individuals. Chaotic:Â Individuals matter more to me than rules.
Good:Â Other peopleâs well-being is more important than my own. Evil:Â My own well-being is more important than other peopleâs.
Neutrals:Â My opinion of what is more important is determined on a case-by-case basis.
So a Lawful Good characterâs guiding moral philosophy might be âI follow the rules because the rules keep people safe, even if they are sometimes inconvenient or harmful to me or other individuals.â A Chaotic Evil characterâs guiding moral philosophy would be like âScrew the rules and screw you.â
This is a very succint way of explaining a long post from a few months ago. It is also kind of how it was originally written, and is what I use. No more âIs he chaotic neutral or chaotic evilâ questions.
It also makes Evil a playable alignment
I like this! I donât think itâs necessarily how D&D intended it, but it good. Â
With nothing but a broken mp3 player, 18¢, a âfun-sizedâ bag of M&Ms, and a wallet full of gift cards that may or may not be expired, describe how you saved humanity from extinction.
You put your earphones on while making your way to the highest building of the town. You knew you would find him here. You raised your head: black clouds were already forming in the sky, lightning flashing here and there, thunder making the ground shake occasionally.Â
In your ears, your broken mp3 player was playing the same song over and over. You had never been able to repair the damn thing – at least you liked the song. You couldnât increase or lower the volume, so you could still hear the thunder as well as the people screaming and running around you, the sirens roaring in the distance, the howl of the wind; but all still quite faint under the music.Â
You sighed, ran your free hand into your hair (the other was holding your âfun-sizedâ bag of M&Ms). Humanity was going to end soon.Â
You reached the building. The doors had been torn apart, surely in one of his access of rage, and you slipped in easily, walking carefully through the destroyed halls up to the elevators.
âHe better not have wrecked them too,â you grumbled. That building was high as fuck. You didnât want to take the stairs.
After two fails and a lot of cursing, you finally found a functioning elevator, which took you to the rooftop. You palmed the pockets of your jeans during the ride, pinched your lips. You thought you had taken your phone, but no, that was your gift-card wallet. Most of those which may or may not be expired. You had absolutely no idea, because you tended to forget you had gift-cards way too easily.
That was a shame, there were some interesting stuff in there. You promised yourself to use them if humanity wasnât extinct tonight.
At last, the rooftop. You stepped out of the elevator, yelping a little when the strength of the wind nearly knocked you off your feet. Recovering your balance after a bit of struggle, you squinted your eyes and caught sight of him at the edge of the roof. In front of him, the entire city lay, completely at his mercy, covered already by the dark clouds he had summoned, which would unleash their rage when he would be done charging energy. And it would just be the beginning – nothing compared to what was expecting humanity the second after the storm would have started his work of destruction.
You didnât know what he had planned after the storm. He liked surprises. You kinda betted on a flood, but you werenât too sure.
The wind made each step complicated, and it took you five minutes to reach him, despite doing your best. You were a little scared to be thrown off the roof, but hey, you werenât going to crawl up to him either.
You gently tapped on his shoulder.Â
âHey.â
He turned around slowly, having already noticed your presence (and he had done nothing to help you? Asshole), and looked at you with those eyes you had never gotten used to: old, so very old, filled with ancient power gathered throughout millenaries, haunted and tired and pulling you in like a void.
âWhat are you doing here?â he asked.
You dug into your pocket, swore a few times while searching, then proudly handed him your 18¢. He took them with a raise of eyebrow.
âI owed you 18¢ for that coffee the other day, remember?â you smiled enthusiastically. âI didnât have enough coins. You gave me some.â
âItâs only 18¢.â
âI always pay my debts. How dare you underestimate me.â
Finally, he cracked up a smile. âYou say âthe other dayâ, but that might be a bit more than that. It was three years ago. The first day we met.â
âYeah, took me a while to get exactly 18¢. Damn, I use coins a lot.â
He laughed, the millenaries-old eyes taking a slightly fond light, then turned back to the city and his work of destruction. You stepped beside him, handed him an earpiece. By habit, he took it absent-mindedly and put it on, watching the dark sky with a certain nostalgia while listening to the song that had been playing over and over on that damn broken mp3 player.Â
âYou have M&Ms,â he then said.
âIâm surprised you hadnât noticed them sooner, for a god. It should be a must, you know. M&Ms noticing skills. The world would be a better place.â
He snickered. âThe world⌠it canât be worse anyway.â
âAh, yeah. Thatâs what this-â – you designated the brooding sky –Â â-is about.â
âThe world is rotten. You know it too. Humanity is broken.â
His shoulders slumped, his composed mask falling down. You reached out to him, held his hand. He held back tightly.
âIâve been here for millenniums. Iâve tried to help them for so long. But humans⌠have always been too broken, from the start. Genocides, wars, murders, stealing, rapes, poverty, corruption, cruelty, erasure, intolerance, extremism, oppression, discrimination, atrocities, ruins, tears, blood, painâŚâ He didnât finish, because the list would be endless. You didnât look at him, but you knew his eyes were filled with sorrow, and his voice was raspy. âIâve seen it all. It was there from the start. It has never stopped. Has even been worse, sometimes. There would be so much to do, to fix the world as it is now.â
âYeah.â There was really nothing else you could say. âI know.â
âHumanity cannot be saved.â
âI know.â
âThatâs why I have to destroy it. If there is no humanity⌠there are no humans to cause harm.â
âTrue.â
There was a long silence, during which you both listened to the music on repeat, holding each otherâs hand, looking at the city which was soon going to be reduced to nothing.Â
âBut itâs not right,â you declared. âHumans cause harm, and others get hurt. Are you going to also destroy those who deserve to live a better life? Those who have been hurt? Those who suffer? Those who havenât even gotten the chance to know good things? Wouldnât it be unfair?â
âYes,â he replied sadly. âBut it would be for the greater good. Humans⌠humans are just hopeless.â
âIâm also human.â
You turned your head towards him. He was looking at you, expression bitter.Â
âYouâre different.â
âNo, Iâm not. I grew up in this world too. I am not the worst human, but not the best either.â
âYouâre not rotten,â he hissed, maybe a bit too aggressive.Â
You didnât back off. âIf humanity is born rotten, then yes, I am.â
You confronted his ancient stare with the same quiet and patient determination which had carried your steps here. In the end, he sighed, and averted his eyes while letting go of your hand.
âYes,â he said tiredly, âyou are.â
You smiled, opened the bag of M&Ms, put it between you two. He took one.
âBut if everyone was like you, it would make things easier.â
âCome on. Iâm already giving you troubles. It would be a mess. Everyone would forget their gift-cards.â
He rolled his eyes. âDonât tell me you found more.â
You beamed, and took out your gift-card wallet out of your pocket, opening it to show him what you had. He glanced at it, and ate another M&Ms to hide his little smile. It seemed to you the wind was weaker, now.
âThere are always more,â you winked.
âI bet most of them are expired.â
âBut not all.â
You grinned happily, while he shook his head; but he wasnât even bothering to hide his smile, now, though it was a somehow sad one.
âHumanity is like a wallet full of gift-cards which may or may not be expired,â you said. âMost of them are probably useless by now, but some of them are not. And just for those, you keep the entire wallet.â
â⌠youâre too positive.â
You saw the distress in his eyes, the despair, the ages-old tiredness – and it all made you want to take him in your arms and never let him go. But you didnât.
Not yet.
âItâs like 18¢: itâs almost nothing, but itâs still something, and it still has some worth. Itâs like a fun-sized M&Ms bag: small, and there will be some you donât like, and some you do, and it gives you a smile. Itâs like a broken mp3 player: damaged, but still working somehow. Broken, but not beyond repair.â
The first tear rolled down his cheek. You followed it with your eyes, followed how it traced the line of his jaw before being taken away by the wind. He turned his face away. You didnât lose your smile.
âYour infamous bad metaphors,â he croaked out.Â
âThose are comparisons. And they are good.â
He shook his head lightly, not to lose the earpiece, then turned back to you, unable to stop weeping.
âAnd what if I donât destroy this world? What then? What happens tomorrow?â
âTomorrow, one more person will be able to smile. One more person will be able to take a step towards healing. One more person will be able to be happy, and make other people happy. One more person will have the courage to accept themselves. One more person will accept others for what they are. One more person will live beautiful things. One more person will learn their lesson and become a better person. One more person will be kind.âÂ
You couldnât help the enthusiasm in your voice. There were many things he could answer, but he didnât – maybe because he already knew it would be useless, against you.
âThose people make me so happy. Them, and all the others who make me believe in this world no matter how rotten it might be. Theyâre giving me courage.â You looked at the city in front of you, made a wide arm gesture towards it. âLook! There are so many people here, and some of them have struggled so hard to get up this morning, but they did it, and theyâre still doing their best to find happiness! Donât you feel proud? Alsoââ
You didnât finish.
He wrapped his arms around you, buried his face in the crook of his neck, and cried, shattered and exhausted, while the wind around you slowly calmed down.Â
You leaned your cheek against the top of his head, held his arm.Â
âI want to go home,â he whispered. âYour home. Where itâs safe.â
âSure. Letâs look up which of those gift-cards we can still use online tonight, âkay? My treat. You get whatever you want. And I still have some M&Ms at home, donât worry. Weâll also be able to listen to something else than that song. Well, if you want. I mean, itâs a good song. I like it.â
He laughed between two sobs, holding you even tighter. He didnât answer. It sounded like he couldnât, like he was crying too much to formulate words for now.Â
It started raining; but the sky had cleared, and the wind was a breeze, and the thunder and lightning had faded away with his will to end the world. You welcomed the rain happily.
âItâs okay,â you said. It really was. âItâs okay. Youâre okay. Youâre gonna be okay, I promise. Iâll be there. Youâre making me so proud too.â
âHow can you have⌠so much faith?â he asked, voice strangled.
You smiled.
âPeople can surprise you in a good way, if you give them the chance.â