writing-prompt-s:

A man just figured out that imaginary friends are actually a person’s guardian angel that people can only see in the child stages of life. Problem is that his child has two imaginary friends, one named after an ancient demon and another which she says she named Mr. Sparklie. She starts calling them her other dads as well. Write about how the guardian demon and guardian angel care for the child when the real father isn’t around.

Agrat bat Mahlat:  Look.  Your parents aren’t watching, right?  Who’s to say they’ll ever know?  

Mr. Sparklie:  They’ll CERTAINLY KNOW when they come back and find their wallets on fire!!  

Mr. Sparklie:  My dear child, how would you like to learn a hymn in praise of the Lord?  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  While we’re at it, Lord Satan has this cool song about the Antichrist… 

Mr. Sparklie:  NO!!!  

Mr. Sparklie:  Now, I know he took the toy that you wanted to play with, but a proper response is to turn the other cheek.  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  Yeah, that way you have plausible deniability when you RiP hIs eYeS oUt 

Mr. Sparklie:  Agrat, no!  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  Man, you never let me do anything… 

Mr. Sparklie:  …oh, dear.  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  Oh, shit.  

Mr. Sparklie:  Language!  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  [sighs] fine.  Oh, shirt.  

Mr. Sparklie:  This man really… does not have good intentions, does he?  Toward our charge, no less… 

Agrat bat Mahlat:  I swear to Satan, if he takes one step closer I’m going to reach down his throat and rip out his kidneys.  

Mr. Sparklie:  I wouldn’t stop you.  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  I’ll– wait, what?  

Mr. Sparklie:  I never said anything.  I never heard anything.  I”m simply going to turn the other way, and… fail to see anything you do.  Ooh, a bird!  

Agrat bat Mahlat:  Oh, yes… >:) 

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

Once upon a time, there was a city ruled by three sister princesses. They were much-loved in their kingdom- the eldest with eyes of brightest blue, the middle with lips of sweetest pink, and the youngest with hair of deepest red. They were incredibly close, acting as each other’s friends and confidantes. They were just, and kind, able to balance the people and keep the peace in their land.

For a time, all was well.

And then it wasn’t.

Mother?

Shh.

A neighboring kingdom, jealous of this city’s prosperity and peace, sought to disrupt it. They dragged to its gates hideous war machines, made of magic and steel and human skin. The king, a man of great magical learning and power, demanded the princesses surrender their city to him, and if they did not, he said, he would raze it to the ground.

Mother, I’ve never heard of this story.

Then listen when I tell it to you.

The youngest daughter, when she heard, did up her deep red hair, put on a delicate crown, and clothed herself in a beautiful dress. “I will offer him an alliance,” she told her sisters. “I will give him my hand in marriage for our kingdom’s safety.”

The other sisters wept, understanding the sacrifice that their youngest was making, and held her close until dawn. They saw her off at the castle gates, and watched until she disappeared into the still city.

When the youngest daughter reached the enemy’s camp, she stood tall, and did not show her fear. She spoke kindly to the weary soldiers, curtsied before the cruel sorcerer-king as custom demanded. She was brave, oh, my darling, she was so brave.

And the king spat at her fine words, and spoke the words that drew all the light from out of her, until she went mad with despair. As the sun set on the day, and on the youngest sister, who lay despondent in the middle of the camp, a soldier came upon her, and killed her in a fit of mercy.

But you said that she was brave.

Yes. She was.

When the other sisters heard, the middle sister donned silver armor, borrowed from the guards in the castle, and took up a crossbow. “I go to kill the king,” she said. “I go to avenge our youngest.”

And the eldest held her close, and wept, until she let her go and watched her disappear from sight into the streets.

When the middle sister arrived at the camp, she moved quietly, looking through the tents with eyes and a heart made cold with fury and grief. She reached the king’s tent- asleep, inside was the enemy, and she raised her crossbow to finish the job. And she would have, darling, she would have, had she not seen, hanging from the post of the kings fine bed, her sister’s delicate crown.

The king awoke when she sobbed at the sight of it, and spoke words that caused her to wither and decay where she stood, crumbling to rotted remains inside a suit of armor.

Mother, I don’t like this story.

You must hear it.

The eldest sister heard the news and she did not weep. She drew her courage about her, and set off into the forest to find her and her sister’s mother, who was a powerful witch.

Her mother answered the door and bade her come inside, offering her condolences about her sister’s fates. Once the door had closed, her mother hesitated, then spoke.

“I left you in that castle long ago, and I will give you your answers, and then I will give you your vengeance against the king.”

And so the daughter listened.

Mother, I don’t want to hear this.

Listen, daughter.

Long ago, there had been a queen with great magickal abilities, but she was never able to find a love, so she used those powers to create three daughters.

One, she formed from a bottle of light captured at the sun’s violent surrender to night. It woke last, a child with beautiful red hair, and so it was the youngest.

One, she shaped from a gentle pink anemone, the last in her castle’s courtyard to survive winter’s onslaught. It woke second, a child with curved pink lips, and so it was the middle.

One, she carved from a piece of sapphire the size of her fist, and as she did, she cut her finger with the blade, so it was made with blood, as well. It woke immediately, with bright blue eyes, so it was the eldest.

The sun took her first child home, she told the sapphire-girl. Her body turned to light, and then to nothing, what it always was. The body of her second daughter rotted in the encampment like a flower decayed beyond its lifespan. “All the king can do is turn you back to what you were before,” she told her daughter. “He will turn you back to stone if you are unprotected.”

She gave her daughter a vial full of black liquid. “This will turn your heart forever to sapphire. The king will be unable to change you- but you will never feel again. No blade shall pierce your skin, but no joy or grief will stir within you. You will never be warm, or cold. I offer you not immortality, but a half-life of invincibility.”

The daughter regarded the vial, and uncorked it. She brought it to her lips, but before she drank, she asked her mother, “Why did you leave us?”

And then she swallowed, so she would not care about the response, and she left her mother in her home before she found the answer.

But why did their mother leave them?

Because she knew, daughter, even then, that her eldest child was capable of committing this act, and she was afraid.

The eldest daughter marched to the encampment, and to the kings tent. She was attacked, but nothing drew blood, and so she went forward. The king, upon seeing her, spoke the words that would have crumbled her to so many sapphire shards, but nothing happened.

She pulled out the king’s heart through his armor, and she felt no relief at having killed him.

She felt nothing.

The end.

Mother?

Mother, that can’t be how the story ends.

Mother, that is not how the story ends.

Do you want another ending?

Yes.

Very well, then.

The people saw what their queen had done, and began to fear her. The queen, unable to feel love or even affection, went back to her mother to find a way to make a child that her people would adore, because, without emotion, she saw that that was what they needed.

The child was made of ice over a pond, and her hair was the orange-white color of the fish, still alive in the cold.

And the queen raised her daughter to love the kingdom, to rule well, and to one day overthrow her mother.

Is that better?

No, mother, it’s- it’s not.

I am sorry.

Why did you tell it to me?

Because you deserved to know, daughter.

You deserved to know what I did.

@ninja-kitty-more-like-no YOUR CARDS ARE:

THE WINTER LADY – A HEART BREAKER A CONNIVER ONE WHO PLAYS DUMB BUT PULLS THE STRINGS

THE BURNING GARDEN – MANIC GLEE ALL WILL BURN AND BE REBORN FROM THE ASH

THE DROWNED KING – A KING TAKEN BY THE VERY FORCE HE SOUGHT TO CONQUER

elaynab-writing:

Never abandon your craft.

I’m going to tell you a little story.

At the age of 14, I finished my first novel length piece. For the standards of a 14 year old, I was told it was good.

So I edited.

And edited.

And wrote 5 full books in the series.

I got to college where people were older, wiser…more skilled.

And I got so used of being told that my idea was good, that it came as a shock when some people told me it was childish and poorly written…like a 14 year old wrote it.

I abandoned it for almost all of college. Got a degree in finance. Went to work as an analyst…which is still my job now, 3 years later.

I picked up the story again towards the end of college. And I decided – no, I won’t abandon it. I love these characters.

I just need to change them. And revamp this.

Use what I learned.

So I did.

I rewrote.

And here I am now. Close to being ready for betas. Hoping that my idea is at least somewhat appealing.

And since truly picking it up again this past year…I think, I’ve been more inspired, more in love…and maybe a bit happier?

I guess what I’m saying is…don’t abandon your stories. Accept they need change. And prove that you can change them.

Grow.

Write.

Accept.

Be phenomenal.

wemblingfool:

standinthefire:

cousinnick:

bogleech:

Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particular bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while lying face down in the dirt

YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST PART THOUGH! HE WAS CRYING FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT IN CHARLES DICKENSEN´S YARD!!

WHERE HE HAD BEEN STAYING FOR WEEKS, LONG OVERSTAYING HIS WELCOME, AND WAS ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF DICKENS

Dickens: Where’s Anderson…?

*peeks out the window*

Anderson:

Dickens:

…”Dickensen”?

He was getting paid by the word, not the letter

queenofbloodanddust:

acoaas:

nonasuch:

Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60. 

My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.

I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.

He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.

I need this like I need air.

I am in serious need of this book

“Fishing lures?” said Brock.  “Dude, what?”  

“Shut up, man,” said Matt, checking his reflection.  He stared at the lures kind of dubiously, then removed them from his shirt pocket.  Yeah, maybe they were a little too much.  

“And where’d you even get that outfit?!”  his roommate of five years demanded, not letting up.  “Did you crack open a coffin and rip it off an old dude’s corpse?”  

“That’s weirdly specific,” said Matt, frowning as he uncapped a brown eyeliner.  This part was tricky.  

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Brock said, leaning against the door of the bathroom not-quite casually, to block out anyone who might walk in on the millenial aging forty years in ten minutes.  Matt snorted.  It would have been convincing if it hadn’t been about the fiftieth time Brock had said it.  

“You’d think you’d have gotten past the surprise stage by now,” he said.  “Like, maybe four months ago, when I got my acceptance letter.  Or a month before that, when I sent out like a million apps.  Or two weeks before that, when I got the fake.”  

The fake ID hadn’t actually been done with old age makeup.  He’d just done his best to look middle-aged, and they’d dated it about twenty years ago with some paperwork for renewing it by mail.  

“I know, but…” Brock hesitated.  “It’s different, you know?”  

“What, cuz it’s the first day of school?”  

He couldn’t remember if he’d done the scar on his left or right fake-jowl during Orientation.  He picked left.  Hopefully no one would notice.  

“People are actually going to see you,” Brock said.  He sighed, and ran a hand over his face.  “Be careful, alright?  Look, I’m gonna go pick up Karen…”

“Is this the teacher?”  

“Huh?  No, that was Lisa.  We broke up.  Karen does retail.  It’ll be the first time she’s coming over to our place, so do you mind if I move your stuff…?”  

“Sure,” said Matt, picking up the brown eyeliner again.  Liver spots were good.  He hadn’t done them last time, but they were convincing as hell, and he intended to remedy that.  “Just stuff it in my room; I’ll take care of it when I get back.”  

They always did this when they had dates over – they’d clean up the place and dump the other person’s stuff into their room so their date wasn’t surrounded by reminders of a third party’s existence, like some random other dude might barge in on them while they were necking.  

Plus, they were kind of embarrassed.  Sure, times were tough, and rent was $2000 a month in the cheapest livable flats – three times the monthly income of a minimum wage worker, and only a little under twice of Brock’s – but it still felt kind of weird to be living with a roommate when they were almost thirty.  

Matt finished dusting his face with translucent powder and started capping all of his equipment, placing each thing by category into ziplock bags.  

“Want me to come with you?”  Brock asked.  “I can spare an hour.”  

“Nah,” said Matt.  “I can take care of-”  He coughed, then shrugged his shoulders and shook out his arms, loosening himself up.  He hunched over, curving his shoulders in and sticking his head forward like he was peering intently at something.  

“Thank you, young man,” he said, in a wheezy, dry tone.  He coughed.  Doing the voice was hurting his throat a little.  “You’re a well-mannered young’un.”  He tried his best to sound like he was choking on chalk dust.  

Brock snickered.  “Alright,” he said.  “I’ll leave you to it.  Let me know if you meet any lovely seventy-year-old grandmothers.  I can always clear up my stuff for tomorrow.”  

Matt flipped him the bird as he walked away.